Day 122

It is day one of our detox. It has been easier than I imagined. We woke up and were promptly given a funny looking yellow concoction. All I know is that it had turmeric, cayenne pepper, garlic and ginger. Maybe a tiny bit of juice but over the top of the rest of the ingredients you can’t taste the juice. Our next meal is a green juice and then we are off to yoga. The yoga instructor is from Cape Town and he is very spiritual. I get back into my flow. I haven’t really ventured back to yoga since Hamish. For some reason I wasn’t called to go back yet. I wanted to know my body was ready. I feel ready now and the class today felt really good.

Two more juices and a coconut later we are invited to do a Muay Thai boxing class with a world champion. I think why not, give it a go. Greg, myself and our new friend Tabatha head to the class. The boxer is in combat mode as he begins the class. The warm up was fast. Within ten minutes I was kicking the boxer and punching and learning all the stances. It is different to normal boxing. You are moving around with your back foot half off the ground ready to pounce at all times. I have to say I actually felt scared half way through. The boxer started yelling ‘front kick’ ‘front kick’. I couldn’t get what he was saying through his accent. Then Greg yells.. ‘FRONT KICK’. I’m like ahhhhh ok and I kick him with all that I’ve got. One hour later and we finish sparring with a world champion. Let’s just say that might be the first and last time I do Muay Thai!

Hamish thanks for always being there for me 

Day 121

We left at 8am for our flight to Bangkok. It was a straight forward check in and we were off. It’s always exciting when you take off to a new destination. I’ve been to Bangkok and Phuket before but never to Koh Samui. It’s a beautiful island and I’m sure we will have an amazing time. It is time for some rest and relaxation. Time for Greg and I to reconnect to ourselves and each other. Time for us to have away from Sydney and embrace this beautiful island paradise.

We are doing a health detox for seven days then a week of a normal holiday after that. I am a bit nervous as I’ve never detoxed or cleansed for more than a day. We have yoga and meditation daily and lots of other fun activities. Three juices a day and vegetable broth is what is on the menu. It’s going to be interesting to see how we feel after a week of this. I am a bit worried we will try and run away after a few days. We will give in and just go and eat some food. I am going to try and stick to it though. I have been eating very clean in the lead up knowing that it would be tougher to detox if I didn’t. Greg on the other hand has been drinking coffee everyday leading up so he might have a hard time coming off it. The first time we went to a health retreat he hated the first two days then by the third he loved it. I will report back and let you know how we are going tomorrow.

Hamish thanks for allowing us time to explore a new place and have some time out. 

Day 120

Tonight I sat in circle with my sisters. I am going to share with you what came up on my goddess circle meditation.

I walked through the temple and saw a gold ball of light shining in front of me. The gold light washed across me and shined across the whole temple. I looked up and saw Mother Mary wearing a blue cape standing before me. She looked at me with open arms. After spending some time in prayer with her another Mary appeared. It was Mary Magdalene in red. She had a different energy about her. One that activated my ovaries and womb. I could feel them tingle in her presence. There were parts of me that didn’t want to be seen. I was worried she would have thought I have failed. She embraced me with her magenta cape and gave me her goddess strength. Strength to be myself. Strength to  move forward in my new life.

She carried me through the temple, holding me. I can see her holding me as a baby. She told me she has been with me since I was born. Mary Magdalene wants me to live the life I know I was always meant to. She wants me to listen to my inner voice and trust it. She wants me to trust her. She wants me to trust myself. She wants me to allow and embody the goddess within in everything I do. She will always be here for me. ALWAYS. Never leaving my side. I the power within to impact so many with my heart and my words. They need to be shared. This is what she was preparing me for. All the trials and tragedy to be able to be who I really am. To embody every cell as the goddess I know I am. To allow others to receive my gifts. For me to receive gifts from others. This is my time and I will call for her support whenever I need it.

A few weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night after seeing a woman in a red cape. From what I know now she was Mary Magdalene. I don’t know much about her but tonight she came to me again and I know I want to know more. 

Thank you Hamish for allowing mummy to get to know her goddess within

 

 

 

Day 119

Today I am exhausted. After a big weekend and lots of events my body needs to rest. I sleep in and allow myself to take it easy. I have nowhere to be today and nowhere to go. It is a nice feeling. I am still working through what the last few days mean. I know I am following my heart each day. I know there is so much more of this life for me to live. I have to keep trusting. Trusting that life will work out the way I want it to. I need to Trust myself. That is the biggest thing really. Trusting I will have the answers within. I don’t need to go to someone so they can give me the answers.

We have some of my close angel parents over for dinner tonight. It is so nice to connect with them. I show my friend all my angel cards and animal spirit cards. We choose some cards and read out loud what they mean. I believe these cards can help give us something to focus on when it comes to our healing. They can allow us to be more vulnerable and open to messages. They can help us become more self aware and know what to focus on. I think we are all in different stages of our journey. No matter what we go through in life there is always things we are healing from. Whether it is something that happened in childhood or yesterday. I believe healing is something we should all focus on. Healing our inner wounds that no one can see are sometimes the hardest. Its funny though as the ones that no one can see end up being the worst. They can turn into illnesses or outbursts that manifest from keeping it all in. I know myself before Hamish I controlled my emotions. I held onto my internal hurt and wounds. He came to me so I could let them go. So I could feel them and release them from my body.

Thankyou baby boy for helping me on my healing journey. 

 

Day 118

Last night I went to a sacred dance party. Yes, after Pilates and a kayaking adventure I went to a dance party. Crazy I know. It was a sacred goddess dance party with no alcohol or anything. It was all about connecting to the music through our body. It was about receiving the music into our souls and letting it take us on a journey. It was a dancing meditation into the depths of our hearts. That is the best way I can describe it. Susana Frioni ran the dance party and it was very a special event.

It started with us standing on the spot and just feeling the music. Then we started to move freely throughout the studio. I felt so free while I was dancing. I felt my goddess within rising as the music went from song to song. I felt like I journeyed into one of my past lives. I felt like everything was happening for me. I realised out of all the people I have met in this lifetime, some I have met before. This time they are only supposed to be in my life for a short time. They come back to connect then go on there separate journey. I can also feel Hamish’s presence in one of the songs. It moves me. I feel like he is right here giving me a big hug. It is truly amazing when you let go. My intention for the dance was to let go. Let go of everything that no longer serves me. Let go of the old me. Let go of what I feel people want me to be.

Hamish I love you so much.

Day 117

This was one of those days that was hard to put into words. This week I have been feeling uneasy. I have been second guessing myself and feeling insecure at times. I guess it is just where I am at. Sometimes you just have to go with the feelings that come. It does make me feel down though. I feel like I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I question everything. I start to wonder what I really want to do. I have had a few times where I have cried this week. I needed to let it out.

I went to my Pilates class in the morning feeling a bit down and left feeling so full of energy. I decided to go and visit my Pop whom lives around the corner from me on the harbour. My Uncle was there and we decided on a whim to go for a Kayak in the harbour. Greg came along too. We walked down the back of my Pops and launched our Kayaks into the water. I felt so free being on the water. There was so many jellyfish and fish swimming beneath me as I paddled through the water. There were beautiful iris’s flying around from mangrove to mangrove. We decided to paddle across the harbour and an hour later we made it to a little beach. I pulled up first and jumped out of my kayak. I look up and there is a little while butterfly fluttering around me. I know its Hamish. Saying hey mum keep having fun. It took Greg another 10 minutes to make it along to the beach.

Three hours later and we made it back to my Pops. We jumped out of the kayaks in the mangroves and shallow waters as the tide had gone out.  A few steps later I fell into a huge mud pit. It went all the way up to my thighs. I screamed thinking that I was just going to keep going down into the mud. I pulled myself out and my legs were covered in thick mud. All I could do was laugh. Greg was about fifty metres away and he thought something had bitten me! I felt so good after our little adventure. It reminded me that we need to go on more adventures like this. I love being outdoors and exploring new places. I love the feeling of connecting with nature.

Hamish thank you for guiding me to have more adventures everyday.

 

 

Day 116

Intentions, core desired feelings and what I want 2018 to look like. I spent the day with some soul sisters journaling and meditating on what I want my year to look like. I wasn’t really feeling into setting intentions on my own but having a group of like minded ladies to do it with really helped. We talked about each area of our lives and how we wanted to feel when it comes to our health, spirituality, relationships, and business. I realised the main way I want to feel this year is open, vibrant and free. Freedom is a big word for me. Since Hamish I have felt more free to be myself than ever before. I don’t need to conform to a corporate structure right now, a certain way of doing business or living my daily life. Having freedom to create the life you desire is a privilege that we have here in Australia. We are lucky in this life that we have the options to choose the life we want. When you feel trapped in what you are doing and don’t feel like its going anywhere there is always other options.

I believe that writing out what we want our best life to look like is what can get you closer to living it. I have a few non-negotiables for the year ahead. Each day I want to have space to meditate, write, be grateful, cuddle time with Greg, connect with nature and have some time alone. Weekly I want to dive into the ocean a few times, move my body doing exercises that I love, honour how my body is feeling, go on an adventure, spend time with my soul sisters connecting. Monthly I want to visit a new place I haven’t been to before and do something that scares the sh*t out of me. I am going step up this year and be more aligned with my own values. I am going to choose love above all else. I am going to continue to open my heart space to others.

Hamish you are so loving. I am lucky to have a son like you.