Day 14

Two weeks since you were born my little angel. Two weeks since my life changed forever. I love you with all my heart and soul. 


Today I wake up after sleeping in my own bed feeling a little more refreshed. I work out I’ve only slept in my own bed 3 nights out of the last 15. Although I still feel the excruciating pain of our loss I can sleep a little better now.

We spend the day talking and looking through photos of Hamish. We download all the professional photos and just look at each one closely. I love looking at his tiny feet with long toes like his Daddy. His cute nose and lips and all the hair he has. His faint blond eyebrows that you can only really see when the light hits his face. His gorgeous hands and fingernails that I am in awe of. What could have been? What kind of life would you have lived?

Even though you have gone you have brought so much joy and light into our lives. How I wish I could tell you I love you and for you to look back at me. How I wish I could cover you with kisses and make you smile. How I wish there was anything I could do to bring you back. 

I get a Facebook message from another angel mum in the afternoon. It’s a friend of a friend and she has experienced what we are going through only a few months earlier. It gives me so much comfort to have support of someone else that is going through this. We chat through messages and she is so lovely. We share photos of our little ones and stories of what we have both been going through. Even though I didn’t want to make friends like this I know this angel mum will be a comforting friend to me. I feel blessed to have this support from someone so caring and loving.

Author: Jodie Matthews

I am a mother, writer, mindful life coach, minimalist and many other things. I love mother nature. I am happiest when I am floating in the ocean. I am a keen traveller and love to explore and discover new places. You can connect with me further on instagram at @jodieleannematthews

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