We are officially over halfway there. I have felt a lot more calmer in the past two weeks since our last scan. I am now trusting that all is well. I am doing a little bit of meditation. I also attended a powerful sacred women’s circle last weekend. It was very transformative. We released the fear and pain that we were holding on to in our womb area. We brought love and light in and allowed the worry to wash away. I believe we are placed each day where we are meant to be in life. What was also so special about this women’s circle is that I have been given a special gift that I can pass on to other women. I have also been inspired to create my own workshop before I go on maternity leave incorporating all that I have learned on this path. I want to help other women connect into their womb space whether that is for their own creativity or fertility.
As women our womb space is powerful beyond measure. It still blows my mind that I have been gifted the opportunity to birth another spiritual being into the world. Today I have been contemplating what Hamish’s purpose was. How his life was short, but so meaningful. His soul purpose is still being fulfilled through me. I do still wonder why I had to lose him so soon. When people say “it wasn’t the right time for him”. I actually disagree, I believe it was the perfect time for him to grace this earth. He was meant to be my son. His life was just shorter than many. He came to show me what true love is. He came to pick me up out of the life I was living. He came to shake things up and to let me know what was truly important. He has changed my life path. He has redirected my soul and got me to tune with myself. I am so grateful for this and very proud of him.
While some days my heart is full of sadness when I think of Hamish. Most of the time when I think of him my heart is bursting with love and joy. I think of the all the gifts he gave me. I think of the amazing son he is. I am so excited to meet his little sibling. I don’t want to ever forget him or stop talking about him. I also want this precious little one inside of me to feel the same love. To be fully encased in love. To know that we will do everything to make sure they have a fulfilled life. I am doing my best this pregnancy to go with the flow each day. I am conscious of taking on other peoples stories and fear around pregnancy after loss. I am protecting myself though and remaining positive. I can see our little family expanding and it brings me so much joy.
Hamish I feel your presence and I know you are still around. I have been lighting your candle and know you are protecting us with your love.
I Am Still Born 