Lately I have been feeling like time is going very slowly. I guess it is because I am living at a slower pace now. I have time to soak up the magnificence in each day. I have time to consciously choose how I spend my time. This time has given me so much freedom. I almost feel sometimes like it is too much. I know each day what I want to get done for my business and the eBook. I don’t feel the urgency though that I used to in my corporate life. I feel like sometimes I need a little more motivation or direction. It may just be because it is winter. I don’t feel as full of energy that I normally do. I try to tune in and ask my heart what it wants to do next. I think it is as confused as my head is. I do feel like I am coming out of the fog now. The darkness that encased me after Hamish left. I feel like I am ready for some new challenges. I want to start doing more. The grief that stays with me doesn’t feel as heavy anymore. The tears are less frequent now. The pain isn’t as bad. While time does start to heal, I believe it is also such a process when you go through loss. You have to feel each emotion flow through your body. You have to allow whatever needs to come up, to come up. I feel like I have done the best I could have with my grief. I didn’t push it down and hide it. I lived it each day.
I love you my boy. I think about you each day and I know you are supporting me from above.