Day 264

It’s the first day of winter. It is freezing here. The journalist turned up at 10am for our interview. He sat me down and said before we begin I should let you know I also had a stillborn child, a little girl 28 years ago. He said I can only begin to imagine what you have been through these past nine months. I looked at him sitting across from me. Thinking this is so surreal. It almost felt like his daughter had sent him to cover our story.

I do believe we are put where we are meant to be each day. I told the journalist about my warm treasured memories being pregnant with Hamish. About how Hamish has brought so much joy into my life. I spoke about his delivery and our physical goodbye. I told him about all the rivers I have cried. I showed him Hamish in his final outfit. A baby Pride of Scotland kilt. He went out in style in his woollen nest. The letters, bunnies, photos and the thistle that went with him. It was easy talking about my beautiful son. About how he is my biggest inspiration, how he helped me write the book on navigating through baby loss. How he guided me to believe in my writing and share my grief.

There is so much power in spirit. In those who are no longer with us physically. Who are still watching over us each day. I couldn’t help but stare at Hamish’s photo today. He was a sleeping beauty. A little ray of sunshine that will continue to shine through my life. I looked up as I was thinking of him after the journalist left. A rainbow appeared in the middle of the sky. Unlike any rainbow I have seen before. It was like I was near the pot of gold. The rainbow went straight through the middle of the sky in a straight line in-front of me. It quickly faded. I know signs like these may be little like Hamish saying hello. I will notice them. I will open my heart daily knowing I will be blessed by him.

Hamish you are my hero. Thank you for allowing me to be brave today.

Author: Jodie Matthews

I am a mother, writer, mindful money coach, minimalist and many other things. I love mother nature. I am happiest when I am floating in the ocean. I am a keen traveller and love to explore and discover new places. You can connect with me further on instagram at @jodieleannematthews

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