Today is the last day of the course. I have had such an amazing week of love and growth. I have found inner stillness in my mind. I have been able to slow my thoughts down. Sit still and be totally at home with myself. I have made some beautiful new friends and also been on many journeys through my meditations. I have struggled to sit for the longer meditations. I have overcome the feelings of restlessness. I have made a commitment to myself to live a more sattvic lifestyle. I have made a commitment to myself to live from love not fear. Something Swami P said to me this week really stuck. We all have fears. All of those fears lead to one thing. That is death. This is inbuilt but I think we really need to reassess our fears. As what is the worst that can really happen. We all have a specific amount of days here on this earth and we can choose how we live this life.
I went into a deep meditation quite quickly today after counting every outbreath. I was staring into blank space with very few thoughts. I could hear the rain pouring down on the tin roof above us. It didn’t distract me though it actually kept me in my meditative state. I felt like I should take a chance and run some meditation and mindfulness classes for others. I know I want to share this gift. Another thought that came through all the blank space was that I need to make my face to face workshop into an online one. These thoughts pop up sometimes in the blank space. It honestly feels like my brain is rewiring itself every time I sit in meditation. I feel immense gratitude also for my week of learning.
Hamish I keep thinking I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t be on this path. I wouldn’t be sitting in Byron Bay learning how to meditate. I wouldn’t be questioning my life and everything in it. I don’t know how motherhood would have looked like with you still here. All I can say though is that I have so much gratitude for your little soul. Thank you for blessing me with you presence. I know it was only for nine months but as your mother I will cherish that memory forever.