It is the last day of our detox. Our last juices and vegetable broth. I am feeling relieved. I have enjoyed our time at the resort and I will miss the lovely people we have met. Greg and I have made some new friends. They all helped us make it through the week. Last night I was looking up at the stars after dinner (water with garlic) and I was thinking about how different my life looks to how I thought it was. Here I was sitting at a table with three other beautiful souls talking about life. Talking about abuse, tragedy, cleansing, depression, gratitude, the silver lining on every cloud. We talked about how our hearts felt in that moment. About how we all overcame something to get to this very moment. The moment we are in now sharing with each other is special. I get a bit teary knowing the strength in those before me. In knowing the strength I have within me. I don’t even know where it comes from. I know I was born with it. I have always been able to overcome anything that comes my way. Overcome doesn’t mean I don’t still carry the scars on my heart. It doesn’t mean I am a perfectly put together human. It just means I can walk on. I can carry through and see that my future is bright. I know each of the defining moments and years in my life where I have been to the lowest lows don’t define me. They make me the imperfect person I am today. I am also more at peace with myself.
Thank you Hamish for allowing me to get to know myself better in these past few months. I hope this will make me an even better mother in the future to your siblings.
I Am Still Born 