Day 56

I went to meet one of my soul sisters for lunch and had a restful afternoon. I’ve been trying to kick this cold I’ve had for the last week. I thought it was gone but today I felt so tired. I do feel so blessed that I can take each day slowly to get over this cold. I feel so blessed that I have this time to grieve and heal. I still can’t believe it’s now been 7 weeks since Hamish left. I know each week that goes by things will get easier. One thing I know for sure though is I will never stop thinking of him. He will always be on my mind. Whether that is the first thought of my morning or the last thought as I rest my head on the pillow at night and lots in between.

Losing a child is an excruciating pain. The love you have for them is completely unconditional. I was talking to my soul sister today about this. Mothers are so protective and loving of their children. A mothers love is like no other. I feel this love. I feel the need to protect Hamish. To comfort him. To cater to his every need. My motherly instincts are still there. It makes my heart break knowing I can’t show him how much I love him. I know I can still try and let his soul and spirit know. I hope he can hear me. I hope he knows how much his mumma loves him in this lifetime and every other.

Hamish I will always love you unconditionally.

Author: Jodie Matthews

I am a mother, writer, mindful life coach, minimalist and many other things. I love mother nature. I am happiest when I am floating in the ocean. I am a keen traveller and love to explore and discover new places. You can connect with me further on instagram at @jodieleannematthews

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