Day 25

Ever since I heard there was a support group run locally by our social worker I was looking forward to going along. To be sitting in the same room with others who understand our grief means so much. To be able to openly share our story and tell others about Hamish is very special.

Going along taught me that we all grieve differently and we all have our own journeys of healing. I am comforted to hear from others and my heart also breaks for them. This is a ‘club’ I never wanted to join. It’s a secret ‘club’ which you join for life. The part of your heart that you lost when your little one passed away is what bonds you to others. We are all so different but also all the same.

Each mother in that room. I could feel her pain. I could see that she was shattered. Hopes and dreams of her future are broken. How do we rebuild our lives from here? How do we rebuild ourselves? This new version of who we are. We are grateful for the opportunity to know how precious life is. We know the true meaning of surrendering. That is all we can do right now.

Hamish I know you came to me for a reason. I am still working through that but one thing I do know is that you have enriched my life more than you will ever know. Yes I am heartbroken and mourning but I do see the light in each day. I see the light in your short life.

If you don’t know the lowest lows how do you know what the highest highs are? How do you know what true happiness feels like if you haven’t been truly sad. Thank you my precious boy. 

Author: Jodie Matthews

I am a mother, writer, mindful life coach, minimalist and many other things. I love mother nature. I am happiest when I am floating in the ocean. I am a keen traveller and love to explore and discover new places. You can connect with me further on instagram at @jodieleannematthews

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