21 days without you my darling son. Today was a tough one. All your Daddy wanted in the world is to have you by his side to watch the football final. We cuddled on the couch wishing you were in our arms.
I wake up each day sometimes feeling anger, sometimes feeling extremely sad. It’s hard as I grieve as I find myself wondering why we have to endure this? Why did I have to lose you? The love I have with your Dad grows each day and it comforts me but there is still such an emptiness in my heart. My darling son there will always be a part of my heart dedicated to you. It has your name written all over it never to be replaced.
We talk about what it will be like next time around when we have your little brother and sister. I know there is room in my heart and life for more children in the future. I know your going to be the best big brother in the world one day. You will watch over all over us wherever we go.
One thing that gives me comfort is I feel your presence each day Hamish. As I ran into the ocean today I felt you there with me. As I dived into the huge waves I felt a huge relief. I know you will walk beside us through life. I will carry your lock of hair with me everywhere I go. I will carry the image of your gorgeous face in my mind forever. I will carry with me each day the proud feeling I felt when you made me a mother.
I Am Still Born 