I go to sleep thinking of you. In my dreams I am going on a big holiday. I wonder whether it is to meet you. I am running late for the airport and I miss my plane. The feeling of missing something is very strong and disappointing I feel helpless like I can’t change what has happened. I feel like I am at a big stop sign and there is no going through it. I feel like I am lost. The last few months I have been dreaming each night. I remember some vividly. One in particular you were in my womb, kicking away, I could see you. I wish I could have cherished those moments more. I know I did all I could during our time together to be present. Sometimes I wonder if I could have connected with you more. I miss you everyday. I find it hard now to remember what life was like before you came along. I have changed so much. I have come back to my truth.
I Am Still Born 