Day 273

Nine months since you were born. I wish I could be holding you this morning. Instead I wake up with intense back pain. I strained my back inbetween baths, nappie changes and piggy backs on Friday and Saturday morning. I think I had already pushed it this week with the advanced aerial yoga class. Did I mention I am still a beginner. I feel exhausted and I’m taking it easy today. I don’t feel like leaving the house as it’s freezing cold and also raining. Lucky Greg is ok to venture out and get my favourite avocado on toast and chai. It helps to ease my pain a little. I feel loved today. I also feel a new chapter is coming in our lives. I feel like we are starting to stumble in a new direction. Nine months of grieving and now we are moving forward. My heart still aches it just feels different now. It feels like I can get up and go. Face the world and hopefully bring in another precious soul soon. I also intend to keep birthing my creative gifts. I will show up and share what I can. I am done with trying to fit in. I am going to do things my way. I have been reading Constance Halls new book ‘Still a Queen’ and I can say I never really started following her until recently. I saw a Facebook live she did in a group I am a part of. This lady has no f**ks to give. She shows up as her vulnerable self and is unapologetically Constance. I admire her for this and I am inspired to do the same.

Happy 9 months my dear angel baby. You are so loved. You are in our hearts each moment of every day. We love you more than anything.

Author: Jodie Matthews

I am a mother, writer, mindful money coach, minimalist and many other things. I love mother nature. I am happiest when I am floating in the ocean. I am a keen traveller and love to explore and discover new places. You can connect with me further on instagram at @jodieleannematthews

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