Day 236

Today we shared our story at the Gidget Foundation ladies lunch with over 1500 women. The video was shown with me telling our story of losing Hamish and how I felt about going to get help. I never knew how to deal with my grief. I bought every book I could and read so many blogs of other women who have walked this path before me. At times I have felt lost and very sad. I did go and speak to a psychologist at the Gidget House. The lovely Christine helped assure me that I was doing all the right things. She helped me navigate through making some big decisions. When you go to a really dark place you start to second guess yourself. You start to wonder if things will get better. It’s coming up to eight months.


I know my grief isn’t something that I will get over in a period of time. I’ll always carry Hamish in my heart. It’s more about how can I gently live life in my new normal. How can I start to come back to my truth and love more deeply. How can I be the best version of myself. How can I make Hamish and Greg and myself proud. Life can be messy. I am wishing and hoping for Hamish’s siblings to come along soon. I need to surrender to the universe. Falling pregnant is a miracle. It will happen when it’s meant too. I trust and know that.

Hamish I could feel you there with us today. Your daddy held my hand so tight while the video played.

Author: Jodie Matthews

I am a mother, writer, mindful life coach, minimalist and many other things. I love mother nature. I am happiest when I am floating in the ocean. I am a keen traveller and love to explore and discover new places. You can connect with me further on instagram at @jodieleannematthews

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