Day 68

This past week has been very social. Being an extrovert normally coming into social situations now is very different. I feel exposed and sad. I want to talk about Hamish but sometimes I can’t find the words to explain how I am feeling. I went to a lovely friends engagement party today and I was feeling a little anxious but I knew Hamish was there with me. I feel him shining down on me and sharing his light.

I went out for dinner with my girls after to celebrate my birthday. It was fun but bittersweet. I can feel all the love my friends have for us and I feel so blessed. Sometimes though I wake up and think this is not how it’s supposed to be. This isn’t fair. I wasn’t meant to be out for a big dinner and drinking wine on my birthday. I was supposed to be at home looking after Hamish and having a quiet night.

Hamish please help me navigate this new life without you. It’s hard to not think each day about what ‘should’ have been. I know your in a safe place but mummy misses you so much.

Author: Jodie Matthews

I am a mother, writer, mindful money coach, minimalist and many other things. I love mother nature. I am happiest when I am floating in the ocean. I am a keen traveller and love to explore and discover new places. You can connect with me further on instagram at @jodieleannematthews

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