Day 65

I had a massage today. It was amazing and I felt like I was transported to another place. I started to think about the last time I had a massage when Hamish was still here alive. It was only 2 days before he was born. It got me wondering if he had left me that day. I will never know when his soul left his body exactly but I do remember lying at home meditating after I got home from the massage.

I was thinking of a bright white light washing over me and going directly into my stomach. I trusted this light was a healing one that was preparing me for labour. I was getting Braxton Hicks on and off so I knew I would be birthing Hamish soon. I will never know if that is when Hamish left me but I have a feeling it could have been then. It’s weird as I felt so peaceful and trusting that everything was going to be ok. I trusted my body and I felt like Hamish was safe. I wish I could turn back time. I wish things were different. I can’t though and all I can do is trust that Hamish is exactly where he is supposed to be. He is being looked after by his Grandma in heaven, in the spirit world. He will be waiting for us for one day when our souls leave this earth.

Hamish I love you. Please know that your Mum and Dad are ok. We are trying our best to live a happy life.

Author: Jodie Matthews

I am a mother, writer, mindful life coach, minimalist and many other things. I love mother nature. I am happiest when I am floating in the ocean. I am a keen traveller and love to explore and discover new places. You can connect with me further on instagram at @jodieleannematthews

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