Today I am having a quiet one as I know the next few days are very full of activities. I am going to a business chicks conference 9toThrive on Friday and Saturday and I also have my soul sisters birthday on Saturday afternoon. I have been trying to organise something for Hamish’s 1st angel birthday this week. It isn’t easy as I don’t really know what to do. I know I want a small get together in a local park. I wish he could be here to see what an impact he has had on all of our lives. I know he can feel our love from above. I have been sitting in full acceptance this week of where I am at. I have also been realising that despite losing Hamish I am living a very beautiful life. I have so much love and support around me and I have freedom to work on a business I love. I have a roof over my head and abundance around me. There is nothing to worry about. What is even more amazing is that I am carrying our second precious child. I wake up each morning and wonder if I am still pregnant. I know this might sound weird but during the first few months when you can’t feel a kick you mind plays tricks on you. I don’t have heaps of anxiety, I just have this little voice that pipes up now and then that tells me maybe something will go wrong. I think it is a protection mechanism. Like don’t get too happy or excited until the baby is here. I decided though to not listen to that voice. I want to feel the joy of this baby now. I want to feel all of the love and the miracle that is happening inside my womb. I don’t want to deny myself that happiness.
I love you Hamish.