I am feeling good today. I have been getting out in the sunshine. I believe the more time I spend outside the better my mood will improve. I am still feeling lost and a bit confused. What I do know is though, that I am living a life much closer to alignment, than I was a year ago. I think about all that I have been blessed with since Hamish. He continues to weave his way through all the work I do and gives me purpose to keep going on this path. I could easily go back to a finance job but I know that isn’t where my heart lies. I think not knowing exactly where I fit or how my future looks is what is making me uneasy. Tony Robbins says we need a degree of certainty to be happy. At the same time we need uncertainty so that we don’t get bored doing the same old thing. I am searching for my happy medium in-between the two. I have certainty in my home, relationship and friendships. When it comes to my work and contribution there is lots of uncertainty. I am listening to where my heart and soul wants me to go. It isn’t one hundred percent clear yet. I am still floating through different ideas.
I love you my boy and miss you so much. When my heart aches for you, I remind myself you are still with me. It may not be in a physical way but you live with me. You are in my heart, my words, my consciousness. You are with me.