It is the first day of the new month. I am feeling so many mixed emotions. I don’t know if tired is an emotion but I’m tired. I’m feeling excited, nervous and uneasy at times. I thought I was already slowing down and living a much more chilled out life. Now my days have become a mix of naps and pondering. I am pondering life. What it all means. Why am I here? What is my highest purpose? How can I make Hamish proud? I am thinking about many things I want to create. I am thinking about starting a meditation app, more workshops and other creations. I am trying to nourish my body the best way I know how to each day. I am hydrating myself, moving my body and ramping up the self care. There is guilt coming up around the fact that I’m not doing enough. I am still peeling back the layers of my ego and my previous life. I am still letting go of the busy life of go, go, go. I am still letting go of the capitalist ideal that I had become.
Hamish I hope you know how much I love you. I really need your love right now.