Today we celebrated one of Hamish’s angel friends birthdays. Bridget is one. This beautiful girl came to the earth to live with her parents and big brother for nine special months. I wish she didn’t have to leave so early. I know her mothers heart is aching for her. She speaks with Bridget every day. She expresses her love through heartfelt poems. The love she has for her daughter has changed her. It was the first angel birthday we have been to since losing Hamish today. I felt Bridget’s love and presence around us. There were also a few other parents who had lost a child. It was comforting to speak with them. It is always bittersweet when you meet amazing loving parents who have lost a child. You wonder why their little angel couldn’t stay on earth. Why they had to endure this unimaginable pain. It is hard to find meaning in it all. We all deal with our losses in our own ways. I thank Hamish for guiding me to write through my grief. This blog has helped keep me present each day. It has helped me express myself and pour my heart out through words. I am forever grateful I have been able to share these words. I am grateful I can also have deep conversations with other parents on how they are feeling. How they have made it through their first, second and third year following the death of their child. How they have found purpose in their days and each moment since.
Hamish you are freaking amazing. Thank you for being my son.
I Am Still Born 