Today was spent at one of my favourite beaches. It wasn’t particularly a beach day given the wind was blowing strong and the rain was pouring. The beach is still my happy place though no matter what the weather looks like. I am grateful for the company I have today. I took Jolinda for lunch to meet one of my angel mum friends. It was a nice time just talking about our lives and all things fertility. I am learning so much about my body that I didn’t know. I wish I knew this stuff earlier in my life but it’s better now than never. It surprises me as women how we go through our lives so disconnected from our bodies. I am trying to get to know mine better now. To understand how my sleep, diet, emotional and mental state will all affect my fertility. I am not going to be too harsh on myself though. I am living a much healthier life than I ever have before. I move my body each day with some sort of exercise. I eat a predominantly plant based diet. I meditate most days and take time to breathe. I hydrate my body and also make sure I am listening to it when it needs to slow down. I am trying not to do too much. I am speaking kindly to it. Once you have a child things change and it can be easy for your inner critic to be louder. I am making a conscious effort to love and accept myself and my body. To be grateful that it carried Hamish to term and it will carry my future children. I know I need to find love and acceptance in myself before I have another child.
Hamish I love you always
I Am Still Born 