On the eve of International Women’s day I was invited to a few events. I spent the morning at Google learning about how to grow my online business. In the afternoon I had a lunch with CPA celebrating many women in business. It was the first time I have seen a lot of my CPA friends. It was confronting at first as I was scared to be in a room full of people I knew. What I realised though is the love and care I got from everyone was so comforting. I felt surrounded by love. I know now I can go back in to the world as my confident self. I am now a mother. Things have changed. I am more at peace with myself. I am not striving to be an over achiever as my friend Jess so kindly put it today. She said “you did so much before and you achieved so much”. I said “I know but it was to the detriment of a lot of things. I would put everything else first, my friendships, relationships, responsibilities then I would come last”. I distinctly remember chairing an emerging leaders conference while I was around seven months pregnant. I was sick with a terrible cold but I pushed through. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I got up on stage and spoke and coughed my way through the day. All while in-between sessions doing my day job remotely. I pushed myself to my physical and mental limit. I didn’t think to slow down. I will never let myself end up like that again. I don’t want to over achieve anymore. I want to be happy and just live my life. If I achieve great things that will be a bonus. I will not push myself into burn out.
Hamish thankyou for helping your mumma to slow down.