Life is so full of unexpected twists and turns. It’s how we react to these which forms our reality. My year has not turned out the way I thought it would. It is however one of my happiest years yet. I felt the most healthy and vibrant. I felt at home with myself. I stopped overanalyzing and criticizing myself. I was so grateful for the abundance that continued to show up. I released old patterns and thoughts that did not serve me. I surrendered to each day. I became closer to Mother Earth and all of her beauty. I gave birth to a new me and my first child. I held my beautiful son for hours in a few short days. These moments will be cherished for a lifetime. I had more deep soulful conversations than ever before. I trekked down to the lowest lows. My heart was cracked open and into a million pieces.
I picked myself up and poured my heart onto the page in to this blog. I didn’t run or hide from my pain. I embraced it and held it for the time that I needed to. I then released all the emotions through tears, screaming, dancing and laughter. I loved deeper and received more love than ever before. Life was always working for me. When things got hard the right people showed up in front of me. I was always cared for. My family and friends held me, hugged me and gave me their love. They kept me warm when I was overcome by the darkness and the winter of my year. They sang out in joy with me in my happiest moments. They rejoiced for they knew Hamish’s life this year was such a precious one. They knew this year would change me forever.
Hamish you are pure light. When I think about the immense joy you brought into my life I sit here and smile. I am feeling sadness in some parts but overwhelmingly joy and happiness for the year that was. Today one of your Aunties left a blessing for you of flowers and a candle down the Ganges river at the birthplace of Buddha. I know you would have felt her blessing. Know that the love we all have for you spans around this world.
I Am Still Born 