Today I snapped. I yelled at Greg. I just lost it at him and called him some really mean names. It was in reaction to him getting angry over something he was doing. I just had no patience left. In the past I used to be very sensitive and react quite quickly when things didn’t work out the way I wanted them too. One of the things I’ve worked on in the past few years is being more patient. Being able to have more compassion. Today that went out the window. I could see how my words landed on Greg like hot fiery arrows being targeted in his direction. I needed to take my anger out on someone today. I had enough. That was it. I hate fighting and I do apologize and forgive quickly. I don’t like to hold grudges. I let the words that came from my mouth sit with me today. I wondered what part of me they came from. What part of wounded little Jodie was still suffering that she needed to share this pain. What part of me could be so cruel. Why did I feel like it’s ok to speak to the person I love the most in the world in this way. I wish I could have taken it back. There is no way though. I had to accept that I released something from myself. I had to apologize and just hoped that Greg wouldn’t take my words to heart.
Hamish please help your mummy heal her inner child. Please help her be nicer to your Daddy.